Post by schumi on Dec 22, 2007 17:00:10 GMT
Found this on planetf1 and thought we could do better, so come on guys, what would you give the world of F1?
What F1 Should Be Getting For Xmas:
Kimi Raikkonen: A log cabin, fifteen mates, a tanker of vodka and see you in February.
Felipe Massa: Jean Todt already gave it to him in October
Magistrates investigating Nigel Stepney: A home chemistry set so they can analyse this mysterious "white substance" that has been the basis for their investigations for so long and has proved to be defiantly anonymous.
Martin Brundle: An FIA pass for 2008
Mark Blundell: A dictionary wot can be used to look up real meanings of words.
Mark Webber: A sense of humour
Jenson Button: A Braun 360 Shaver (so he can get that ginger excrement off his face)
Sebastian Vettel: A brown paper bag
Max Mosley: A brand new ducking stool and a pile of brushwood staves
Fernando Alonso: Self-returning toys - so when we get to those familiar toys-out-of-the-pram moments in 2008 they can be quickly returned
Lewis Hamilton: A Sat-Nav to tell him where the Safety Car is - "Turn left, now! Like, now!"
Red Bull: Engineering parts that haven't been sourced from the £1 shop
Ron Dennis: A big pedestal with a shining spotlight highlighting the metre-high letters I N T E G R I T Y, which he can kneel down and worship three times a day.
Martin Whitmarsh: Long-term and short-term memory
Mike Coughlan: Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility
Bernie Ecclestone: An elf suit, he's sadly under-employed at this time of year.
Luca Montezemolo: Information pertaining to his most successful employee's first name. The guy who's been running the team for the last ten year and more is called "Jean" - referring to him as "Todt" all the time sounds a bit crap.
Jean Todt: To be head of the GP team
Flavio Briatore: A nice new book, F1 Engineering - For Dummies
David Coulthard: (see Jenson Button)
Jarno Trulli: A new team-mate at least as slow as Ralf
The former Jordan team: An owner that stays in F1 more than a year
Damon Hill: A fraction of the money that's being poured into the London Olympics for Silverstone improvements.
Robert Kubica: An Addams Family DVD so he can see what the rest of the family are getting up to.
Nick Heidfeld: A cave to match his rugged image (only has to be a small one)
What F1 Should Be Getting For Xmas:
Kimi Raikkonen: A log cabin, fifteen mates, a tanker of vodka and see you in February.
Felipe Massa: Jean Todt already gave it to him in October
Magistrates investigating Nigel Stepney: A home chemistry set so they can analyse this mysterious "white substance" that has been the basis for their investigations for so long and has proved to be defiantly anonymous.
Martin Brundle: An FIA pass for 2008
Mark Blundell: A dictionary wot can be used to look up real meanings of words.
Mark Webber: A sense of humour
Jenson Button: A Braun 360 Shaver (so he can get that ginger excrement off his face)
Sebastian Vettel: A brown paper bag
Max Mosley: A brand new ducking stool and a pile of brushwood staves
Fernando Alonso: Self-returning toys - so when we get to those familiar toys-out-of-the-pram moments in 2008 they can be quickly returned
Lewis Hamilton: A Sat-Nav to tell him where the Safety Car is - "Turn left, now! Like, now!"
Red Bull: Engineering parts that haven't been sourced from the £1 shop
Ron Dennis: A big pedestal with a shining spotlight highlighting the metre-high letters I N T E G R I T Y, which he can kneel down and worship three times a day.
Martin Whitmarsh: Long-term and short-term memory
Mike Coughlan: Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility
Bernie Ecclestone: An elf suit, he's sadly under-employed at this time of year.
Luca Montezemolo: Information pertaining to his most successful employee's first name. The guy who's been running the team for the last ten year and more is called "Jean" - referring to him as "Todt" all the time sounds a bit crap.
Jean Todt: To be head of the GP team
Flavio Briatore: A nice new book, F1 Engineering - For Dummies
David Coulthard: (see Jenson Button)
Jarno Trulli: A new team-mate at least as slow as Ralf
The former Jordan team: An owner that stays in F1 more than a year
Damon Hill: A fraction of the money that's being poured into the London Olympics for Silverstone improvements.
Robert Kubica: An Addams Family DVD so he can see what the rest of the family are getting up to.
Nick Heidfeld: A cave to match his rugged image (only has to be a small one)
